If you feel that the legal advice you are getting is not right for your situation, or your lawyer is simply not hearing you, the best thing you can do is to seek a second opinion. This is the best option for you because it will either confirm for you that your lawyer is doing a good job and help you feel confident in moving forward within your current arrangement, or it will provide you with a new perspective on your matter with a fresh set of eyes to help you realign your concerns and trajectory. This is also the best option for your current lawyer because there is nothing worse than an unhappy client. Actually, worse yet, is a client who acquiesces in negotiations without voicing their concerns, to only realize when it’s already too late that the decisions made have long lasting and sometimes detrimental effects, and blames their lawyer or harbours resentment.
It is part of a lawyer’s job to make sure that their client understands their rights and responsibilities and the reasoning behind any terms being negotiated or agreed to. At the end of the day, it’s your life that these decisions will shape for years to come, not the lawyer’s. You need to ensure that you understand the law and why the terms you are agreeing to are beneficial to you. You should feel confident in the choices you make and the lawyer who is supposed to be helping you make them.
If you are feeling intimidated by the process, make sure that you tell your lawyer. If your lawyer is not able to help you through your emotions and doubts, you may also want to seek counselling to help you find your voice both in the negotiations with your partner and in communication with your lawyer. Your relationship with your lawyer is just another relationship to navigate and manage on top of everything else! Sometimes a therapist who will help you find your voice and identify what is important to you – express your interests and concerns – can be invaluable to you taking control of your negotiations, and your life.
Dorothy Kosinska is a co-owner of Kosinska O’Shea Law and practices exclusively in the area of Family Law.